The Scarlet Letter "F"

It started with an old female JC classmate of mine (Hi Neet!) who asked point blank after the waitress was done taking my orders.
"Were you f****ing?"
"What?! No."
I replied nonchalantly. But the seeds of doubt were planted in my head...

A week later while out shopping for work shirts with my buds, Ice lamented;
"Man, You've got to be more selective in your f****ing"
"What?! I just needed help choosing the right size that's all!"
"Choosing right size. Riiiight."
"Oh No..." I thought.

Last night at NYDC, Ice commented again:
"Eh? you're not gonna f**** with the waitress like last time, hah?"
"I DO NOT F****! I am not that kind of person!!"
Visions of my supervisor flowed through my head...
"Admit it." Sam said, "It's just that before this, you had no opportunities."

Everyone has a blind spot, no matter how well you know yourself. That why you need good friends who won't hesitate support you, or put you straight. My worst fears of turning into a cheapo version of my supervisor are coming true. It's all fun and games till someone's feelings gets hurt. Sam's psycho-babel started right about then;
"Whatever it is your head is telling you what you should be doing, your heart seems to want to do something else. This f****ing that you is just a symptom that you have to work out with your inner demons."

"Thank You, Mr Yoda."

I was always more comfortable around women than men. Unless "feelings" are involved. Then I'm an absolute klutz. Maybe it's because I have 2 elder sisters as siblings. Maybe it's because I'm a mommy's boy. Even my clique in JC was made up of girls. But a f****? The thought horrifies me. But nobody believes that a single 30 yr old fella can have any kind of female platonic relationship.

Sam:"Okay Mr "I'm not a f****, I know you rarely use your MSN Messenger acct, so lately, how many ladies have you been regularly messaging while at work?"
Me:"..."
Sam:"Admit it, you're a FLIRT! Dumbass."