As I've said earlier I've been experimenting with wordpress to see if the CMS is powerful enough to use as a Database/Log/CMS for my work. Since I've got NO CONTENT I've had to try something out of the blue. So I've been busy with this:
Anyway last year, Ramadhan was bit less hectic and I moved around quite a bit for terawih (without transport no less). I'm not a stickler for terawih but I do like to move around to keep things dynamic. So this year I set myself a target of 10 mosques not normally patronised by most HDB folks. (I do hate crowds). Come to think of it I think I haven't patronised the same mosque twice at all so far!! WooHoo!! Well it's to be expected since I don't patronise mosques every night. So far I've covered 7 of my targets I think.
Why do I do this? I REALLY don't like it when I'm being forced/strongly advised to do something in my personal life, even if it's for my own good or the merits of the advice are outstanding. Especially for terawih where it's not compulsory. When I go and perform it I don't want to feel as if it's a chore, or I'm only there under coercion. It totally defeats the purpose. I love to do it on a whim, on my own compulsion, with my own thought process bringing me to that decision. Maybe this all just ego talking.
Since this post is turning out into a rant, I'll just carry on in the same vein. I love this month. I feel more carefree and less burdened during Ramadhan than any other time of the year. I enjoy the festivities of Syawal far less. I'm fortunate in the sense that I'm not forced to visit any relatives (They're all back in the 'ole country). I see others who dread or lament that they have to go visiting although they don't really want to and thank my lucky stars that I've yet to join their ranks. I always return during weddings cos all my relatives will be there and there's like 2 whole days to catch up and bond during the work to be done during weddings. Aidilfitri visiting can be so forced especially since I'm not an adept conversationalist.
Every Syawal I only have my close friends over since I've known for close to ten years. None of my cousins, aunts or uncles know the kind of person I really am. I want my parents and my close friends to at least recognise each other. I know it sounds morbid, but just in case. You'll never know they'll help each other fill in the gaps. (You guyz hear that?? Don't worry, that's my morbid streak talking)
Life has been good to me and I haven't had any big obstacles, upsets or grief so far. There was that hiccup during my final year at university but I came away learning something from that. I can see some unavoidable rough spots ahead in my life but I'll tackle that as it comes along. This month always makes me full of peaceful bliss, no matter how much unwelcome solitude I experience. I don't know why happens to me but that doesn't really matter to me much. I'm thankful for my numerous blessings and strength for the journey ahead. And at the end of the day, I know I'll do alright.
--mäd is suffering from hypoglycemia (low blood sugar).
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